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Gedichten, tekeningen en hersenspinsels

Свежие записи · Архив · Друзья · Личная информация

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It's the same old song, like always I have found myself in a web of lies, not mine but yours this time.
The cat is getting more blind each day, my guitar sounds more familiar as days go by, I still miss you but that's just a hopeless situation. How unimportant can one be? I didn't even get paid for my trick. Yes it's exactly what it sounds like. incoherent, unimportant, waste of talent, waste of time. 

I'm fucking angry, although I would never say that to you, I probably should though.

I have never felt so cheap in my life, thank you for your service and now fuck off... oh here have a pack of cigs... bye! 
Why don't people like me for who I am, I'm going celebate folks, fuck that!

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My housemate has lost his mind.
I try to be very serious about this delicate subject but he has convinced himself that he is Jesus. 
I could be Mary Magdalene, which is nice I think.
We called the psychiatric hospital, he's definitely in a drug psychosis, the one where he says he's turned inside out and his arms are growing. Where I am becoming liquid and we are connected. Where he is Jesus and his best friend is Joseph. Where I am Mary M, and my dad is just my dad, thank god. We called the hospital last night, he convinced them he was fine. They let him go. He's fine now, after his hour of madness. Watching the simpsons on his bed. He doesn't realise that he's not well..
Atleast they're on their way, once again.


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I feel the need to write and 
free the words 
my brain.
Only to find
was initially

I found a theatre group in London, and I might have a chance in getting "in".. I was never part of a team before, I never belonged to a club, I never belonged anywhere but to myself, which has it's pros and cons.. I am good at parties and 1 on 1 conversations, I am never bored and I like being alone and I need my independence... but I suck at team playing. always too scared to fuck it up, not good enough, no talent, no one likes you and basically you just suck! I'd rather not live than live a life of pain or something dramatic like that. I may still decide not to do it..  

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for more pics of an almost finished painting click 

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What Be Your Nerd Type?
Your Result: Drama Nerd

You sure do love the spotlight and probably have a very out-going and loud personality. Or not. That's just a stereotype, of course. Participation in the theatre is something to be very proud of. Whether you have a great voice for musicals, or astounding skills for dramas/comedies; keep up the good work. We need more entertainment these days that isn't television and video games (not that these things are bad, necessarily.)

Artistic Nerd
Literature Nerd
Social Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type?
Quizzes for MySpace

well guess what.. I have never even read the damn thing, nor was I raised cathalcoholic.. but my my I scored well...

You know the Bible 64%!

Congratulations! You know a lot about the Bible - the books, the characters, the events. You are able to remember a lot of what you have heard and read!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

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and another one:

ok so the deal is, there will be sentences and words around and through this painting (which is obviously not done yet), poetic, funny, painful, dreamy, sexy but nothing you'd expect during dinner..

that's why I'll name it..
table conversation

oh and here's junkie barbie:

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so I finally got my computer up and running again... yay!
Spent a total of 9 hours on this fucking piece of shit excuse of a computer and it can now start windows, AIM, IE and I'm a happy girl!
After formatting, reinstalling, formatting, disc failures, data errors and more formatting and reinstalling I have finally done it!


I was on german tv! yay! they used me in a little promo on the german channel arte for a long blondes/music special and they showed me dancing around the venue and I was pretty surprised they used close ups of my face especially considering the state I was in (I remember that night, drunk, ankle fucked, missed the last u-bahn and ended up in a hospital the next day)..

oh and by the way, Sar, Marie, Emilie, Wish, Jaya, Tim... I miss you guys!!

creative creative
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but be sure to check my myspace.. an I'm working on a myspace music site... be sure to listen to my drunk regina cover.. will be recording some more when I get home..

Love love love

if anyone knows the link to my myspace account leave a link in the comments section.. we need fucking promotion but I'm too lazy to do it myself.

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it's almost valentines day, and I'm spending my night alone.. isn't that sad..? :p
Still looking for performers for the european tour.. I was thinking about going to the full tour but I think this is just too much money I will have spend.. so I need to prioritize (or however the fuck it's spelled).. so far I still need a lot of brigaders and thankfully gin and daniel are going to help me out with the last part of the tour.. ow how I love you guys.. I just don't get it.. I thought people would find this interesting and fun to be doing.. america is much different and I remember how I said to Jim that I prefered europe in a way, I kinda doubt that I still feel like this.. when it comes to brigading and willingness to brigade.. it's hard to find people who are willing to do their thing and not get paid.. people seem to have forgotten that the meaning of art was to set your spirit free and create...
I know money is a big issue guys but can't we all just be creative about this somehow? people are flying from the otherside of the world to brigade here! ok I know I'm getting carried away with this... I think I need some sleep.. :D

Love you all!
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well since you're somehow reading this I will dedicate a post to you.

You ran and ran and ran in another direction,
far away from me, and I felt abandoned,
like you felt abandoned by me at that time.
Truth is, I never went away, I never left you anywhere
but close to me like always.
I still feel you, like you said you still feel me.
And then there's her, the girl I really like, but you i love..
I keep coming back to you, in my thoughts I mean.
and that's tough... and what about you?
do you really love her?
are you happy?
more happy than ever before?

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